we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
