You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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