Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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