I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
