You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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