so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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