i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
