Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
