If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
