Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
