I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
