I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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