No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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