Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
