And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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