Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
