Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
