I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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