yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
