Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
