Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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