in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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