dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
