after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
