wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize