Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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