So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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