k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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