There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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