You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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