It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Mom said you looked used
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
