There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
