I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
