i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
