yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Are we still banned from the library?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
