was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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