I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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