Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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