Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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