she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
