You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
