the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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