I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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