During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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