No stitches, just platelets and will power
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
