worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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