so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You need Xanax blowdarts
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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