Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
