I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
