...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
