Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
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by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
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I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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