I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize