a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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