Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize