we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
