I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
