I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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