Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.