Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol