would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.